hey man im shutting out the outside world since around 2014,
i feel superstressed, cant calm down, have expections on myself that i cant reach, atleast not like that

i now have anxiety disorder and strong Depression

anxiety is a bitch

here is a painting from me how i feel



i always saw the good in People, and always tried to see the good even if it was the worst Person

that somehow changed yeah back in around 2014

i loved everybody and spent all love i had to everybody...

tho never love came back

now i feel, like i did 1 mistake in mylife and everybody hates on me, even tho they made 1000000000000000x

but yeah im not that Person anymore, im full of hate now
sadly


its hard to be a good guy, it accidently killed my Soul, something happend and also destroyed the will to believe everybody is possible to do good things, and im still trying to figure out what took me that will, i think that will would help me to be good and strong again, but atm i dont see it

i felt like everybody thought and thinks im a bad guy, and actually this thought that they think made me a bad guy, its hard to describe
i dont feel no matter where i am

i dont have the power to Change, i feel so weak and drained
now where i Need help, nobody helps me
nobody loves me