My love for beans have derived from the transcendence of nature that I used to confide in as a child. Ever since I'd gotten HEINZ baked beans from TESCO that one faithful sunday afternoon; it was raining and my ex had just dumped me. Sitting next to a windowsill i'll remember till the end of my days; using a plastic spoon to scoop out tomato drenched beans from a tin can - nothing seems paralleled to the comfort I'd felt then. Even though usually an entirely carbohydrate meal makes me feel bloated at the sight of it, something about beans just strikes me on an emotional scale. This was the turning point in my life.

From then, I've always ensured a certain degree of foreplay involving beans was always introduced into my bedroom life. It would start from pouring cans upon cans of baked beans onto my female partner, with the bedsheet serving a one-time purpose at this point (because god it was awful trying to get the stains off). It would proceed on to introducing beans during intercourse where we would partake in consensual kissing with a can of baked beans pouring down from above our heads. I miss those days in Peru.