Well, I'm gonna drop another Mocucha related comment, and frankly, it did look like you tried to adopt his style, which I have absolutely nothing against, it's actually a good thing, we need more videos like these. Mocucha has done a lot of this type of videos and he's developed this unique style, and kept doing it, not that it hasn't been done before him, it's that he did a quite respectable amount of these videos so that they became his trademark. Anyways, to the video.
In my opinion, you did have some technique with the video, it had felt like it actually was a story, but, even though you had really good intentions, your execution might not have been the same.
The freecam is actually okay, toris are in the place and for me at least there were not many uncomfortable angles or movements. You did have some issues at ~0: 32 and mostly the last part, which, yet again, I think that was a good idea. You have to first work on your freecam, because if you want to do a video of this type, it's gotta end up really neat, and to do that, you need to work more than you would on a normal video.
About the colors present in the video, they were not entirely the best. You first had this yellow-ish shader, then to grey, and white, and then a whole lot of fluctuating between these ones. Don't get me wrong, having multiple shaders in a video is a good thing, but you need to have them in a somewhat harmony.
Moving up to replays, you had some pretty nice ones. Although the players didn't look incredibly good, they had nice moves, but anyways, the players didn't look uncomfortable. This part was pretty well executed I say.
Now, the effects are your biggest issue. You counted a few things above, but I'm going to say some things too. You need to smooth the panning, you had some really basic 'preset-looking' effects which didn't look good at all. The sync you did was fairly okay, though it was a bit off. Some transitions were pretty nice looking, some were...meh.
Overall, you're doing pretty fine, you have to train a bit more. Don't always do full videos, try to do practice videos once in a while.