I have never been drunk or taken drugs as with the same point I made they're pointless. what's the point in taking heroin when your body produces a similar chemical by itself (For anyone who has done biology you know when you get the most feeling/ when the chemical kicks in the most) and alcohol seems even more pointless, 1.it tastes like utter shit. 2.Why get drunk? you do stupid things, have a headache and puke a lot. seems kind of illogical. although I haven't reached the stage of depression where I want to commit suicide (I have thought about it once or twice and have even written a will in case I do ever do it - highly unlikely). but other than thinking of it once or twice I haven't had any thoughts of suicide. The thing that doesn't make it any better is when you're pressured into getting another job as a waiter or someone who has to interact a lot. I've even sat down and told my parents and my brother that talking to people or interacting with them isn't my forte. I personally despise people however some reason the people on the internet relate to me, we all have a reason and that's why I'm always on the PC. They believe I'm lazy and mention this to me everyday and even when I explain to them I really just hate who I am and hate talking to others they always go to the same thing "It's ok, it'll blow over and you'll get used to it" bare in mind last time I tried to get over this I almost had a nervous breakdown. Pretty much no matter what I do they are against me, what doesn't help also is when they need help I can't just say "No, sorry I'm too lazy" to spite them because that just leads them to think I'm lazy. TL; DR The world is a fucked up place full of illogical people, stick to the internet "The things you hate the most about yourself are always the things you won't be able to change" - Anon


On a side note I also have 'friends' (just people I hang around with during college) and no matter what I do, say I go on the forums while at college they'll say "wow that's just sad" even when I mention that he's played more hours on games via steam the last 2 weeks he'll go to how I have over 2k hours and if I say "I had a phase" he'll just go on "still that's just sad". In short I explained to him as well that he's basically using outdated data, saying that it's like me using a population data sheet from 2010 and saying that it's exactly the same. all he says back is "How is it?" at this point I want to hit something but as a person who's a pacifist I just hold in that anger. honestly I fucking hate him when he does that. I also have another 'scared' friend who is the same where he gets picked on from time to time but we both don't like fighting and he usually joins the winning side. so basically I've made a valid point with 2 fuckers just like "How the...? It's nothing like that" sorry for the long read guys.

#MeAndProtoGettingDeep (No homo)