I would like to join the secret santa
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At the mall, on Santa's lap
Sat little Timmy, who needed a nap
"Can we fucking hurry" said Timmy's mom Kristen
"All I want for Christmas is esports" Timmy said with a grin

Nows it Christmas morning, everyone's giddy
Especially the kids, including Timmy
Timmy opened his present, but it wasn't esports
Just some brochures to shitty ski resorts

Timmy was angry, very angry indeed
He grabbed a blunt object from under the tree
He swung it at his dad, who was on the couch
The whole neighborhood heard him as he screamed "ouch""