I myself have issues with my spine and its really a problem with work and fun so i know how u feel. I do think you should open up to your girlfriend more

Crying when i get the chance is probably the one most helpful thing i ever did because it just releases so much pain for whatever reason, and its much better than the alternatives that I've partaken in before because of depression and sorrow. But only because i bottled those feelings up because i didn't want to burden other people with them. But that is the opposite of what you should be doing. Because the people you love that love you back are always there to help you through the pain. I recently learnt that lesson myself as my break up pushed my already messed up mental state to the point of burning myself, because that physical pain felt better than the mental pain i was going through, that in itself is quite laughable compared to the things I have done/tried to do.

I don't want to see one of the homies doing the dumb shit i have because of depression and sadness, so my Finnish friend, dont hide your sorrows
im happy to just sit and talk with you anytime are sweet soldier boy