yesss oh my goobness ^_^
[16:26] iris: 😭 /dl slipperyblcv1.tbm /dl slipperyblcv1.tbm /dl slipperyblcv1.tbm /dl slipperyblcv1.tbm KMNFAOFO AOLMF AOFASMO
[16:26] tabby: ???????????????????
Hey im just gonna vent here a bit, something slightly weird/magical happened, and I am not sure where would be a proper place to post this.
Ever since I was under 10 my parents were already fighting for some reason or another, I think there was cheating from my mother's part from the small bits I remember.
They broke up and my brother and I decided to stay with my father. Things went well until I was around 11, my mother began calling us asking us to go back and neither of us wanted to. Well she threatened suicide to get both of us back to her, I gave in. He paid child support for all these years, called us constantly not to ask us to go back but to check on us, gave us stuff and whatelse.
I just held this on and kept pushing through life.
Thos weekend I'm visiting him, and as we were talking the topic ressurfaced and I called him aside to talk about it. I wanted to tell him that it was a decision I made in panic and not what I was choosing for myself.
He knew.
He reassured me and gave me tips. Then the magical thing happened.
He told me she was using the same tactics against him. Eventually he burnt out then he said:
"If you want to do it so badly I won't stop you. There's only so much I can do for you."
And that stopped EVERYTHING. They broke up after that.
I feel like I learned something new.
I am still processing everything, I'm trying to find a way to navigate between being a good son who helps her with the kids and the house chores, and being someone with boundaries, someone who's not just a carpet. Her other kids are special needs, I need to help her.
Now I'm realizing that my entire personality has been shaped by this, I think that's why I was never someone who fought at all, crumbled under the slightest pressure, doesn't know to say no and all that.
I still need to think but that's a big realization for me.
Ever since I was under 10 my parents were already fighting for some reason or another, I think there was cheating from my mother's part from the small bits I remember.
They broke up and my brother and I decided to stay with my father. Things went well until I was around 11, my mother began calling us asking us to go back and neither of us wanted to. Well she threatened suicide to get both of us back to her, I gave in. He paid child support for all these years, called us constantly not to ask us to go back but to check on us, gave us stuff and whatelse.
I just held this on and kept pushing through life.
Thos weekend I'm visiting him, and as we were talking the topic ressurfaced and I called him aside to talk about it. I wanted to tell him that it was a decision I made in panic and not what I was choosing for myself.
He knew.
He reassured me and gave me tips. Then the magical thing happened.
He told me she was using the same tactics against him. Eventually he burnt out then he said:
"If you want to do it so badly I won't stop you. There's only so much I can do for you."
And that stopped EVERYTHING. They broke up after that.
I feel like I learned something new.
I am still processing everything, I'm trying to find a way to navigate between being a good son who helps her with the kids and the house chores, and being someone with boundaries, someone who's not just a carpet. Her other kids are special needs, I need to help her.
Now I'm realizing that my entire personality has been shaped by this, I think that's why I was never someone who fought at all, crumbled under the slightest pressure, doesn't know to say no and all that.
I still need to think but that's a big realization for me.
retired replaymaker | discord: victortb#9592
hope you're doing well right now and make this revelation a stepping stone for you to become a better version of your self my guy, knowing what the right thing to do and when to say no, can't always be a people pleaser but when the circumstances force you to do so, its alright bro, you're goated for opening up man, hope all is well
Originally Posted by victortb
Hey im just gonna vent here a bit, something slightly weird/magical happened, and I am not sure where would be a proper place to post this.
Ever since I was under 10 my parents were already fighting for some reason or another, I think there was cheating from my mother's part from the small bits I remember.
They broke up and my brother and I decided to stay with my father. Things went well until I was around 11, my mother began calling us asking us to go back and neither of us wanted to. Well she threatened suicide to get both of us back to her, I gave in. He paid child support for all these years, called us constantly not to ask us to go back but to check on us, gave us stuff and whatelse.
I just held this on and kept pushing through life.
Thos weekend I'm visiting him, and as we were talking the topic ressurfaced and I called him aside to talk about it. I wanted to tell him that it was a decision I made in panic and not what I was choosing for myself.
He knew.
He reassured me and gave me tips. Then the magical thing happened.
He told me she was using the same tactics against him. Eventually he burnt out then he said:
"If you want to do it so badly I won't stop you. There's only so much I can do for you."
And that stopped EVERYTHING. They broke up after that.
I feel like I learned something new.
I am still processing everything, I'm trying to find a way to navigate between being a good son who helps her with the kids and the house chores, and being someone with boundaries, someone who's not just a carpet. Her other kids are special needs, I need to help her.
Now I'm realizing that my entire personality has been shaped by this, I think that's why I was never someone who fought at all, crumbled under the slightest pressure, doesn't know to say no and all that.
I still need to think but that's a big realization for me.
like i said to you when we talked about it, im always here bro
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Originally Posted by victortb
Hey im just gonna vent here a bit, something slightly weird/magical happened, and I am not sure where would be a proper place to post this.
Ever since I was under 10 my parents were already fighting for some reason or another, I think there was cheating from my mother's part from the small bits I remember.
They broke up and my brother and I decided to stay with my father. Things went well until I was around 11, my mother began calling us asking us to go back and neither of us wanted to. Well she threatened suicide to get both of us back to her, I gave in. He paid child support for all these years, called us constantly not to ask us to go back but to check on us, gave us stuff and whatelse.
I just held this on and kept pushing through life.
Thos weekend I'm visiting him, and as we were talking the topic ressurfaced and I called him aside to talk about it. I wanted to tell him that it was a decision I made in panic and not what I was choosing for myself.
He knew.
He reassured me and gave me tips. Then the magical thing happened.
He told me she was using the same tactics against him. Eventually he burnt out then he said:
"If you want to do it so badly I won't stop you. There's only so much I can do for you."
And that stopped EVERYTHING. They broke up after that.
I feel like I learned something new.
I am still processing everything, I'm trying to find a way to navigate between being a good son who helps her with the kids and the house chores, and being someone with boundaries, someone who's not just a carpet. Her other kids are special needs, I need to help her.
Now I'm realizing that my entire personality has been shaped by this, I think that's why I was never someone who fought at all, crumbled under the slightest pressure, doesn't know to say no and all that.
I still need to think but that's a big realization for me.
I went through a VERY similar story, and let me tell you, you are not and never were to blame for what your parents do. My mother had psychological disorders at the time, so threats of this kind were common. It got to the point where my father ended up finding someone else, only this time worse, at the time, I had also chosen to stay with him.
I always broke down thinking about it whenever I was under any kind of pressure, even the most harmless.I went through a lot with my mother, I helped her, I had depression, I lost 30 kilos, and with each passing day the thought of dying grew stronger. I lost my father while he was still alive. He left the country, went to live in Israel. No contact for 8 years.
My mother got better, she managed to overcome her problems, and I managed to overcome some of mine, at a VERY high cost,
I realized she was terrified at the time.
my father returned unexpectedly on my wedding day, after 8 years and i have the SAME talk to him, It was a desperate choice.
And after a long conversation, I discovered that he was terrified at the time too.
Cuida da tua mãe, mas nunca se afaste do seu pai.
Se precisar conversar, pode me chamar também <3
my comfort character and a bit of how I feel at this very instant.