Originally Posted by
Fire
I already knew this one, say another.
We’re in the savannah, and for weeks the lion — the king of the savannah — has been constantly nagged by the lioness about going on vacation.
“Come on, we never do anything anymore!”
“Every other couple travels!”
“You’re always working!”
Eventually, exhausted, the lion gives in and decides to call the rhinoceros.
phone ringing
Lion: Hey Rhino! Sorry to bother you, but the lioness is driving me insane about this vacation thing. I need a favor…
You’ll have to be king of the savannah for one week. But listen carefully…
Don’t mess with the rabbit.
Rhino: Yeah yeah, no problem at all! Go enjoy your vacation!
⸻
The next morning
The rhinoceros wakes up, has breakfast, and calmly waits at the tram stop reading his newspaper.
Everything is peaceful…
Until suddenly:
the loud sound of a scooter approaching in the distance
The rabbit comes flying down the road on a tiny scooter without a helmet.
The rhinoceros slowly lowers the newspaper and steps into the road, forcing the rabbit to stop.
SCREEECH
Rabbit:
HEEEEY RHINOOOOOO!!! HOW’S IT GOOOOING?! EVERYTHING GOOD?! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY, RIGHT?! OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS WEATHER! I’VE ALREADY HAD LIKE THREE COFFEES TODAY! WOOOOOO!!!
Rhino: …Where’s your helmet?
Rabbit: Ohhhh the helmet? Nahhhh, it hurts my ears, man! Seriously, I just can’t wear it, you know what I mean?!
Rhino: I said wear a helmet.
Rabbit: Ahhhh come onnnn don’t be like tha—
the rhinoceros beats him up
The rabbit slowly drives away on the scooter.
⸻
This goes on for days.
Every morning:
the sound of the scooter approaching
Rabbit: HEEEEY RHINOOOO—
the rhinoceros beats him up again
Eventually, furious and exhausted, the rabbit calls the lion and explains the whole situation.
The lion sighs deeply and calls the rhinoceros.
Rhino: Hey Lion! How’s the vacation? Everything’s peaceful here!
Lion: Rhino… I told you not to bother the rabbit!
Look, I get it. But if you’re going to beat him up, at least do it intelligently. Give him an impossible situation.
Tell him to buy cigarettes.
If he buys filtered cigarettes, hit him because you wanted non-filtered.
If he buys non-filtered, hit him because you wanted filtered.
Rhino: Ohhhhh.
That’s smart.
⸻
The next morning
The rhinoceros calmly goes through his morning routine until once again…
the sound of the scooter approaching in the distance
The rabbit appears.
The rhinoceros steps into the road and stops him.
The rabbit immediately raises his arms, already expecting the beating.
Rabbit: OKAY OKAY PLEASE DON’T HIT ME!
Rhino: Go buy me cigarettes.
The rabbit slowly lowers his hands…
Looks him directly in the eyes…
And smiles confidently.
Rabbit:
“With or without filters?”
The rhinoceros freezes.
His expression changes completely.
He closes his eyes for a second… takes a deep breath… and suddenly explodes:
Rhino:
“YOU STILL NEED TO WEAR A HELMET!”
