hmm I recalled one:
If someone's talking behind your back, or backstabbing you
it means that you're further forward than him/her.

haha
good one. Great one actually, srrwb .

Here's another, but not so great:
Category: History.
In the past...
People were closer to each other... weapons had smaller range.

lol great tips guys

You need a girl whose name doesn't end with .jpg. You do.

oh, don't need to go gay cause you're looking at me o:, cause:
you don't get fat by looking at the menu

If electricity comes from electrons, then morality surely comes from morons.

It's a kind of crazy bonus:
Buy one dog, get one flea...

Swimming can't be so much of an exercise. If it was - why would whales be so fat?

Haha, great one again, srrwb.

Here's mine:

Stealing a pen from bank doesn't make you a bank robber.

Mine:
You can't change your nature.
Pull off fly's wings. It's still a "fly", not a "walk". >.>
...I think.