Narrative/Story Essay

I never fit in with the main society. An observer, nay, a spectator is a more accurate term to describe one such as myself. Always watching how the world works but never truly understanding how to be a part of it. Being further left behind, with each passing day. I’m not sure as to how I got this separated from the rest of the world, but I can’t remember it ever being any different. Maybe it was just a twist of fate, or maybe I was born to be like this. Even so I can’t help but wanting a place to belong. A place to call home. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true. This closed off world that I live in I want to be freed from. I want to break it open and escape, but that dream seems harder and harder to achieve as time passes. The world doesn’t need me I often think, but for that to be true the world would have to know I exist. A mere kink in the cogs that is society. Used and forgotten, until it no longer functions. That is my existence. Even with that all said, I don’t know how to change my life. Because where I find myself now is far lonelier than my usually loneliness.
A willow’s leaves brushed against each other above me and long grass below, collectively making a rustling noise. Along with it a smell of musk and a view I had never once seen before. What looked like swamp lands now stretched as far as the eye could see accompanied by the occasional tree. Along with water which was seemingly rising as it had already reached my knees. Nothing I saw made sense, nor did I think it was meant to. The state I was in was much like the view now before me, a mystery. I had cuts as deep as the rising water and bruises to match. Even the slightest movements I made brought me sharp pain. The world around me was now composed of swaying trees and rippling water, long grass and the sound of the wind. All of it, a sight I have never once beheld, nor could ever comprehend.
The world I lived in was empty, and the town small and confined. Yet this swamp seemed emptier, here it was like I was imprisoned and having the air choked out of me. Loneliness had become my salvation, but now it was my coffin and I had already taken my first step towards it. I began to walk as an attempted means to escape my predicament. My walk quickly had become a sprint. The long grass continuously brushing against my cuts, reminding me of where I was but not of what had happened. This seemed to continue for hours but before I knew it I had slowed my sprint into an eventual halt, because the scenery around me had changed slightly. A single cave stood directly in front of me as if imposing itself, daring me to enter it. As if I’d enter that, the me who had seen so many movies was screaming inside myself. But it could not be heard over the swampy water splashing beneath my feet with an already steady pace, drawing me closer to the unknown. I had become the embodiment of curiosity, fear long left behind. As the entrance to the cave loomed closer a dim light could be seen as if it were an invitation to proceed.
Carvings of what looked like different animals and words lined the walls of the cave, none of which were legible. A foreign language maybe? These carved walls continued to stretch forward as I ventured further as if guiding me to the ever brightening light. If this situation reminded me of anything it would be what we were taught death was suppose to be like. This place might make more sense if I’m here because I died, I thought. “Wait I’m not dead right!” I quickly pinched myself as confirmation of my current state. I felt pain, I must not be dead. . With that thought temporarily put aside, a humming sound could now be heard from deeper within the cave. A single almost harmonic voice, continuously bouncing of the walls and echoing. One might think in a situation like this, hearing a sound like that would be scary, but it was soothing. It told me all that I needed to know. I wasn’t alone, at least something else was here. No matter what it is, that idea brought me comfort.
The walls of the cave gradually began to widen as I advanced further in, and what looked like an opening could now be seen. A hole in the ceiling was letting the moon's light shine down into the center of the room. Standing in this light was the source of the humming, a girl - no -an angel? I know it looks like the light was shining from the hole in the ceiling, but it almost seemed like if she wasn't there the light wouldn't be either. It was there solely for the purpose of shining on her, and illuminating her beauty. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sight stretching before me, every aspect of her had me enamored. She had long green hair like that of my favorite tv heroine or the grass outside my room’s window.With a small stature giving off an impression of innocence, paired with a white dress and golden earrings. But what caught my attention were her eyes, which had taken on the color of bright red. A vampire? “ I kind of want her to bite me then,” I whispered to myself. No, no, no don’t think think things like that. I slapped myself with both hands to rid myself of the thought, and began to approach her. “Can you help me? I seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a swamp.” I don’t really think that joke is going to earn me any points with her, but it’s all someone like me could think of saying in a situation like this. Immediately she turned to face the direction of the voice, her eyes now on me. Her glare felt strong enough to pass through whatever they decided to look at. Those red eyes were now fixated on me, much like how mine were fixated on her. This awkward exchange seemed to continue forever until she opened her mouth and said only one word:
“Lost?”
“Lost?” I repeated the word to myself. What does she mean? And is she asking me? “Um I guess you could say I’m lost. I definitely don’t know where I am.” I tried to explain how I ended up in a swamp with no recollection of how it really happened. She didn’t seem to interested. “Do you know how I got here?” I tried asking a similar question to my previous one:
“We all end up lost.”
“We all?” I quickly retorted as her answer had confused me.
“Everyone.”
“Who’s Everyone?” I asked.
“Everyone.”
This conversation seemed like it would turn into a video on loop if nothing was done. Maybe I fell for this girl to quickly, she seems like a kook. “My name’s Gregory, and I’m utterly lost, what about you?”
“We are all lost.”
There she goes being a kook again:
“What’s your name?” I tried asking.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why is that?” I questioned.
“If you’re here it’s because you couldn’t figure out how to belong in the world. So a name for you and I means very little.”
It’s true I didn’t fit in anywhere, but to not deserve a name...
“Okay I’ll call you Anne. You look like an Anne.” My naming skills are impeccable.
“ I said- Okay Anne, do you know how I got these cuts?” I stretched out my arms and legs and tried to reveal what had happened to me.
“Those cuts, are a representation of the scars you carry over from your life. Everything that you think is wrong with it, is now being shown in a visible manner.” She coldly explained as if it were obvious.
Now that I examined here more closely she had even more cuts than me. Every inch of her body was covered in wounds, deeper and longer than mine. All of this got me thinking so I asked another question.
“Anne according to you if you're here you didn't belong. So is that why you’re here? Can you tell me your story?”
She seemed to think about the request, and after awhile spoke:
“Very well.”
Instead of her regaling me with her story it seems she was somehow going to show me it. For now the cave was gone and darkness ensued. Then a light came on and there stood a younger Anne. She’s so cute... All other thoughts eluded me. The darkness began to take on shape and a small bedroom could be made out. There were walls with paint starting to peel and a wood floor slightly in tatters. A single door and a cracked window with a bed against it finished off the room revealing a place with not very suitable conditions. Then the door began to creak open and a single man stood in it’s archway. The smell of alcohol on his breath. He began to yell and the young girl wept.
The scenery quickly changed again and what looked like a school classroom was now taking shape. A slightly older Anne then the one seen in the room now sat in the middle of the classroom. A single empty seat left open to all sides of her. The rest of the class just stared at her with eyes of disgust and contempt. Darkness took over, and the bedroom came into place again. The single girl now slightly older but still weeping. This scenery continued repeating over and over until even I could understand the gravity of her life’s situation.
She was a girl who was abused and casted out, but most of all, alone. Alone, a word very familiar to me yet one I knew not how to fix. “I’m sorry to see all that.” I tried consoling her even though I knew better than anyone a life like that could not be consoled.
“I’m sorry too.”
Her voice sounded tired and lacking of emotions. The sound was enough to make you feel bad. This was the voice of someone who was lost in every sense. I wanted to help, but I was just as lost as her.
“Do you... maybe want to hear my story?” Talking about my pain, was the only idea I had of easing her’s.
“If you feel like you must.” She gave an answer with neither anger nor interest.
“Can you tell me how you did that cool visual magic trick that you used to show me everything?”
“Just think about your life and the events will unfold in front of us.”
It didn’t seem as though she liked my magic joke.
“Okay I’ll give it a go then.” I earnestly took her words into account, and begun to carefully think about my own life.
The cave began to change once again and now in the middle was a young boy in a car. Along with him, what looked to be three others. Together they made up three boys and a single girl, all of similar age. In the back sat the young girl and boy. The girl, occasionally flashing an ever so shy glance towards him, as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t. The boy none the wiser. As the car’s engine roared, and wheels turned, it starting moving, controlled by a driver to young to be in that position. A single car, and a group of friends attempting to be “young.” A single deer and a single attempt to dodge it. A cliff looking down at the city, and at the bottom a car along with a single survivor.
The tragic view changed to a locked bathroom and a scarred boy huddled alone. Banging accompanied by words of blame could be heard from the other side of the door. A classroom now took center stage. A boy weeping in class, and students whispering about him. An obvious segregation from the boy was unfolding. Once again the view was altered to that of a therapist’s room. The boy now sporting a blank expression devoid of feeling. A letter in the therapist’s hands, which looked like a school attendance report. The words “None Attended” written in bold letters.
“ Our lives kind of suck.” I said pointing out something that was very clear.
“Yeah they do don’t they.” She said and laughed a little bit.

This was the first time I had seen her smile at all. It was a smile from someone who obviously didn’t smile much as it almost seemed forced, but it still had me captivated. Forced or not, it was a smile that could light up a room. A smile that you’d want shown solely to and for you. “You’re beautiful...” The words involuntarily slipping out of my mouth. This seemed to make her blush only going to prove my statement. “Thanks...” She replied in a way that showed that I had caught her by surprise. We began talking and I started to put things together. We were both searching for something, but weren't sure exactly what it was, and while we were having these thoughts we were whisked away to this place. Well if were both searching for something maybe we can help each other. Maybe that’s exactly why we're here.
“Do you maybe want to be friends” It’s possible that’s what we both need I thought. Although I’d rather be more than friends, but I’ll take it slow.
“Friends...” The word seemed to make her shiver. I’ll admit that I wasn’t to accustom to the word either, but it seemed like the best course of action for us:
“Friends...?” She repeated the word again.
“Yeah, friends. You know people who kis- talk and care for one another. Or support each other. Let me be there for you and you for me.”
Her eyes were now shining and it almost seemed like she was going to cry. Did I upset her by any chance? I can’t really deal with people crying, what do I do?
“Okay!” The answer came as a half scream filled with the sound of holding back tears.
“Are... you okay?” I asked as her reaction had me stumbling for words.
“Yes I’m just really happy for some reason.” It didn’t seem like she could explain it either but seeing her like this made me feel an indescribable feeling as well. It I had to describe it as anything, it felt like a weight had been lifted, or maybe something had been taken away.
The cave around us began to crumble and in an instant I stood on a hill looking down at my city. But something was different. The sun seemed to shine a bit brighter and next to me now stood a girl grabbing onto my arm as if asking me to help carry her weight. She seemed so fragile, like if I were to let go she would shatter. I had no intent to let go though because she seemed like the home I was looking for and I hoped she felt the same way. We both discovered in the cave things about each other and the problems people face. I don’t know if I can dissolve all of her’s or her mine but now we at least don’t have to go through them alone.
“Thank you.” I whispered as I found the words to be very embarrassing to say.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I quickly dismissed the question.
“Thank you too.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” She said and then laughed.
Life is something that is constantly changing and I feel like that’s what is happening now. I don’t know yet for sure if it’s good or bad but I’m glad I found her. My home:
“Oh yeah, what’s your real name?” I inquired.
“It’s Anne.”
A single girl, an unlucky life. One filled with unwanted loneliness and a constant depression. A single boy, a forgotten life. Filled with doubt, blame and worry. An encounter between two lost individuals, both seeking a home and an end. An encounter that changed their lives, as they found what they were looking for. It just so happened to be each other, and now their burdens could be shared. Alone no longer applied.