There's a really really long list...
First and foremost, I let the power hungry side of a 14 year version of me 8 years ago just go batshit crazy power hungry. God all I cared about was Sahee caring about me and becoming a Promo Team member. I'm sure it was because a young kid like me at the time raging with hormones wanted to feel special when I was being abused emotionally and physically by my partner at the time.
Then, I made matters worse by not showing gratitude for the gifts I was given. I made great friends with well respected players and got the privilege to hold a minor but important staff position.
Third, I burned almost every bridge I ever built competitively all for the chance to join a clan that essentially was dead and had little choice but to take me, despite me being a running joke of immaturity in their secret board. And wore it like some insane badge of not just accomplishment but elitism. And I became this jaded, overstated, cocky, arrogant dick who raged at every loss because some small part of me must've felt all I ever did deserve was to win. And that was coming after another really dark time in my life, as I finally got diagnosed with my disease and lost so much.
Fourth and finally, I know I really let Toribash down. I was given the opportunity of a life time, with essentially ever power imaginable passed down by H man himself. And I blew it. I let my immaturity and life take hold of me, I wasn't gracious, I was overly self-conscious, and I gained an insanely high position of power that I didn't earn. And I got it the wrong way, back dooring everyone. It's one thing to rage to a troll about him running in a match, it's another thing entirely to sidestep the entire process when there is all these great people who spend so much time dedicating themselves to consistently donate their time for the good of Toribash. I have no excuse, I took an amazing opportunity and crossed it. And I got a lot of hate that I entirely deserve because of it.
I've come back hopefully for good now. I've come back really changed. I'm putting a lot of effort showing people a vulnerable but real side to who I am now. I'm Jeffrey, I'm here, I want to help. I want to help anyone and everyone I can and be grateful for every gift I've had. And some people are really cool, clans like Parrot, Inquisition, Nitro, Origin, Obey, New Era, Elite, Electric, WAPOW, etc. have all graciously accepted me back, and I even forged a new friendship with Mwah which is something I've wanted for a long time. And there are still a lot of people who are hung up on who I was or at least who they think I was. And it's going to take a lot to change their minds. And I don't deserve their acceptance and forgiveness. I'll do what I can to earn it.
So yeah, there's the stupidest things I've done in Toribash. 8 years in the making, but I can at least be proud of what all those terrible mistakes has lead me to. It took a lot of tragedy to get me to this point.
