I'd literally add a hidden Bitcoin miner as an extremely cursed Easter egg: Only activates if you win 10 matches in a row with pure hip torque (no arms/legs, pure pelvis power — the ultimate shitpost technique).
Once unlocked, a small, cute 8-bit miner appears in the corner of the screen during matches, slowly "mining" (visually).
It doesn't actually mine real Bitcoin (that would be terrible), but it mines a fake memecoin called ToriCoin.
Rewards: ridiculous cosmetic items (gold dojo, Bitcoin-symbol belt, glowing laser eyes, etc.).
Leaderboard for "Most ToriCoin mined" with the top miners getting special titles like "Hash Lord" or "Pelvis Farmer".
It would be completely useless but generate infinite memes and clips. Perfect Toribash energy.